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No Elves or Santa Welcome Here

I’ll wait right here while you pick your mouth up off the floor

I’ll even wait another minute so you can ready your fingers for all the mom shaming you are about to do

We don’t do Santa or elves on the shelf at our house. We never have and I am not a bad mom for it

Don’t get me wrong when my oldest could understand we went with the whole Santa thing and with fear in his eyes he said, “So someone we don’t know sneaks into our home at night when we are asleep?”

That was the beginning of the end for Santa in our home

When people ask them what they want Santa to bring them they aren’t rude and don’t ruin it for everyone else by saying he isn’t real

We don’t do elves that watch our every move because the reality is that will only last for so long anyways

Go ahead and tell me I am crushing their childhood memories but you guys I just don’t have time to make sure I take care of an elf at our house and I don’t want to. I have a husband, three boys, and a dog, I’m good

I didn’t have an elf on …
Recent posts

Excuse Me, There's A Randall In Your Hair

I have spent a majority of the evening questioning if my husband loves me or if I, in fact, have friends that truly care about me • I’ve also questioned if there are any kind strangers in the world or honest people and if my kids like me
• I’ve said hello to a neighbor as I was loading the kids up for school. I got out of the school drop off line braving the cold with no makeup on to give my guy an extra hug. I’ve FaceTimed my husband and went inside a store
• You guys I did so much this morning, went so many places, reached out to so many people and I regret it all
• So many opportunities for someone, anyone to truly show me they care and yet not one person said anything
• Not one single person informed me that in the midst of my chaotic morning and sleepless night I somehow ended up with Randall in my hair
• Not only in my hair but proceeded to tote him around in my hair and with me most of the morning in public and around friends, my husband and strangers
• So here’s my PSA for the worl…

First LIVE Blog Interview

Did my first LIVE blog interview tonight

It doesn’t matter how vulnerable I’ve been on my grief journey here on social media, going live made me nervous

You guys, I had so much fun! It was so nice to talk about my blogging journey, my grief journey and my mom

I Need You

I need you today
• That’s what I said to my husband before he left for work this morning
• It’s something I haven’t said too often and don’t say nearly enough in the thirteen years we’ve been together
• He could hear in my tone that there was something different about the way I said it so he stopped dead in his tracks
• The day had barely begun but I today I wanted him to know he was needed
• He was needed for the comfort that only he could give when the weight of the world felt like it was on my shoulders
• He was the one I needed to pick up the phone on the other end so I could tell him about things that matter and things that don’t from my day
• He was the one I needed to walk through that door just as I was feeling like I was about to break and be the one to help put me back together again
• He is the one I need to look over and find standing by my side when world feels like it’s throwing me more than I can handle
• He is the one I need to come home to everyday and fall asleep with every …

When You Aren’t Winning At Motherhood

Some days you are winning at motherhood •
Some days you let them eat ice cream for breakfast and you make amazing memories •
Some days you find a toy at the goodwill they have been wanting forever and you are the coolest mom ever •
Some days you spend an entire day doing nothing fancy at all with them and it’s the best day ever •
Some days you let the mess and chaos and running wild consume your entire day and they are convinced you are the best mom ever •
Some days you give a hug right at he exact moment when it’s needed most and a kiss that can cure any boo-boo •
Some days you’ve got it together and think you’ve got it all figured out in motherhood •
Then there are the other days, the days when you aren’t winning •
The days where you are slightly below losing and can’t even be sure there is a name yet for how bad you have sucked at a simple task in motherhood •
That has been my last three nights, the place somewhere below losing at motherhood •
The place where moms usually don’t even talk about because…

Turkey Served With A Side Of Grief

I remember my first Thanksgiving without my mom here. I cancelled dinner at our family’s house last minute because I couldn’t face the deviled eggs sitting on the dining room table knowing she wouldn’t be there to serve her recipe

I avoided making those deviled eggs and asked others to avoid making them for several years because that was my side of grief served with the turkey on Thanksgiving. It was the thing that could take me from surviving the holidays without her to full blown tears

These days I make the deviled eggs, her recipe only and I serve up that side of grief on Thanksgiving with a smile instead of tears.

I’ve realized that my holidays are always going to be a little less joyful and little more quite without her laughter filling the room. I realize that my Thanksgiving turkey will always somehow be served with a side of grief while yours is simply filled with sides of mashed potatoes and new memories with your loved ones

So this Thanksgiving if your turkey is being served…

So It's Another Holiday Without Your Mom Here, Now What?

Let's be honest here, no matter how far you've come in your grief journey the holidays tend to sting a little bit without your mom here. They have a tendency to not be as jolly and bright or full of thanksgiving when one of those you love the most isn't here and instead there is an empty chair when they used to sit.

You might feel like you want to skip over the day altogether or just cancel Thanksgiving or Christmas. Trust me, I've completely felt that way when I was new to the grief scene.

But what if you still want to celebrate but you just aren't sure how. You can't imagine how to bring joy and laughter back into your holidays when your mom isn't here.

Although we know as grievers the only real way to make the holidays the same again would be to have your mom here with you even if for the day to celebrate. But since she can't be but we know she would be if she could then here are a few things you can do if you feel up to it on the holidays to make y…