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When You Just Want Coffee With Your Mom Again

I always see photographers offering mother and daughter sessions

I always wish I could have surprised my mom with one of those

I wouldn’t want it to be the kind where we get dressed up and go into some pretty field

I would want it to be just her and I doing the things that matter the most together. The little things that most take for granted

One of us drinking coffee together on the back porch talking about everything and nothing together

One of us baking together in the kitchen using her mom's recipe book

One of us talking on the phone together for the tenth time that day as we laugh because we don’t have anything left to say but we just wanted to hear each other's voice on the other end

One of us sitting down together at dinner with all her grandbabies on each side of her

I’ll never get the kind of pictures other mother and daughters might get together now that she’s gone

Instead, I’ll carry her memory around with me and we will have coffee on the back porch together early in the mo…
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This Is Motherhood

This is motherhood

You see, I gave up my vanity a long time ago, seven years ago to be exact

I brave the grocery store with no makeup on unafraid of who I will run into

I face the mall in my yoga pants that don’t even know what yoga is and haven’t see a gym

I walk right into any restaurant with my hair that they now call a messy bun but mine has evolved to somewhere in between a birds nest and Medusa’s hair

In fact today I drove right up to the school pickup line with my shirt on backwards which my husband kindly informed me of when he got home, with mismatched sandals because my dog is mad at me and chewed up my other one and my stretchy pants because following the rules for that healthy lifestyle just wasn’t fitting well into my routine

They tell you motherhood is messy but my friends they don’t tell you how freeing it truly is, they forget to say that you can simply walk out of your house like this and if anyone asks to say, “ I have a toddler at home” and you don’t need to say any…

The Me Before I Became Mom

Don’t be confused, that’s the same person you are seeing

On the left, that’s me before I became a mom

Oh how I remember her

She had endless time to get ready, put on makeup fix her hair and even coordinate outfits with jewelry. She even had time to go the beach and get a tan

Then there’s the mom version of me

The one that walks in the department store, heads straight for the yoga pants and cosmetics counter and says, “I need all your wrinkle cream and concealer that can hide the fact that I haven’t slept in seven years now”

The one that walks out of the house with mismatched everything including random items in her hair, isn’t sure she owns any jewelry other than her wedding ring because toddlers have used her bracelets as a sling shot and feels like Target is her girls night out

But I honestly don’t miss her, the old me, the one before I became a mom

She had no clue how to Netflix and chill, she was always on the go, always much too busy. She blew money on makeup and clothes and fan…

Family Secrets In Grief

I’ve been keeping a secret for over a year now
• One my mom kept from me for many, many years and took with her to the grave
• One she told my grandmother about before she passed and asked my grandmother to tell me only when she felt I was ready to know it
• A secret she kept to protect not only me but others
• A secret I am now ready to share with you because I might need your help on this journey
• As far back as I can remember I’ve always felt as though a part of me was missing. I never knew what it was until my grandmother told me this secret and it all made sense
• This secret was important now because after losing so many key people in my life
• The secret is that I have siblings that I have never met, siblings that might not even know I exist from my father
• Siblings I am on a mission to find and have in my life, to be surrounded by more family because that’s what matters the most
• As you can imagine my whole world went for a spin when I found this out and people that once were stran…

What Your Grieving Friend Needs During The Holidays

Holidays for grievers are tough one no matter how many years it has been. As a friend or loved one this day might be tough for you. You might find yourself feeling helpless as you see your friend missing their loved one on any holiday. To sit back and watch as your friend grieves, you don't know what to say or do. You might even feel guilty for telling them what you are doing with your own family during this time of the year. 

You may even find yourself slowly avoiding your grieving  friend during the holidays because you don't want to say or do the wrong thing, being away seems easier than hurting their feelings.

Good news!

I have compiled a list of things that you can do for your  friend or loved one during this time of the year. This way you don't have to avoid them. You might even find yourself filled with joy that you finally have a way to help them on this day. A way to make them not feel alone and a way to do something rather than nothing.

Please remember you will never…

No Elves or Santa Welcome Here

I’ll wait right here while you pick your mouth up off the floor

I’ll even wait another minute so you can ready your fingers for all the mom shaming you are about to do

We don’t do Santa or elves on the shelf at our house. We never have and I am not a bad mom for it

Don’t get me wrong when my oldest could understand we went with the whole Santa thing and with fear in his eyes he said, “So someone we don’t know sneaks into our home at night when we are asleep?”

That was the beginning of the end for Santa in our home

When people ask them what they want Santa to bring them they aren’t rude and don’t ruin it for everyone else by saying he isn’t real

We don’t do elves that watch our every move because the reality is that will only last for so long anyways

Go ahead and tell me I am crushing their childhood memories but you guys I just don’t have time to make sure I take care of an elf at our house and I don’t want to. I have a husband, three boys, and a dog, I’m good

I didn’t have an elf on …

Excuse Me, There's A Randall In Your Hair

I have spent a majority of the evening questioning if my husband loves me or if I, in fact, have friends that truly care about me • I’ve also questioned if there are any kind strangers in the world or honest people and if my kids like me
• I’ve said hello to a neighbor as I was loading the kids up for school. I got out of the school drop off line braving the cold with no makeup on to give my guy an extra hug. I’ve FaceTimed my husband and went inside a store
• You guys I did so much this morning, went so many places, reached out to so many people and I regret it all
• So many opportunities for someone, anyone to truly show me they care and yet not one person said anything
• Not one single person informed me that in the midst of my chaotic morning and sleepless night I somehow ended up with Randall in my hair
• Not only in my hair but proceeded to tote him around in my hair and with me most of the morning in public and around friends, my husband and strangers
• So here’s my PSA for the worl…